The 5 Best Anal Sex Toys to Cheat at International Chess Tournaments

The chess world has gotten a little spicy over the past few weeks.

How did the world’s cheesiest game become a source of steamy memes and international intrigue? And what do anal beads have to do with all of this?

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If you’re not already familiar with the drama that unfolds in the world of chess, then buckle up, because it’s a wild ride involving Bluetooth anal sex toys, accusations of cheating, and a chess grandmaster. angry.

As experts in the world of futuristic sex toys, and Bluetooth sex toys in particular, we wanted to break the controversy for SPY readers. And while we don’t condone cheating of any kind, we couldn’t resist sharing our top recommendations on the best anal sex toys one could use to cheat in international chess tournaments, if we wanted to.

Breaking Chess Grandmaster’s Anal Cheating Conspiracy Theory

Magnus Carlsen is a Norwegian chess grandmaster and the greatest chess player in the world. He recently accused 19-year-old Hans Niemann of cheating after a widely discussed loss to the teenager earlier this month. The disputed match took place in September at the Sinquefield Cup in St. Louis, Missouri, a chess tournament with a prize pool of $500,000.

After losing to Niemann, Carlsen withdrew from the tournament and rumors began to spread that Carlsen suspected his opponent of cheating. While initially wary of the scandal, he eventually broke his silence. In Carlsen’s mind, Niemann is a cheater.

In a statement posted to Twitter, Carlesen said: “I believe Niemann has cheated more – and more recently – than he has publicly admitted. His on-set progress has been unusual, and throughout our game in the Sinquefield Cup I felt like he wasn’t uptight or even fully focused on the game in critical positions, while outplaying me as a black in a way that I only think a one handful of players can do it.

It should be noted that no hard evidence has been presented that Niemann cheated in his match against Carlsen. However, as The New York Times reported, Niemann acknowledged “[violating] rules of fair play in online tournaments on Chess.com at least twice in the past. However, Carlsen is now accusing Niemann of cheating “on the board”, that is, cheating in real time during a live chess match.

But how exactly was Niemann able to cheat in a chess tournament packed with press, other competitors and spectators? A strange conspiracy theory has taken hold in the world of chess, and according to this theory, Niemann cheated, well, anally. Yes, you read that right. anally. It’s time to break out the anal lube with your chess sets.

Carlsen didn’t endorse this “anal beads” theory, but the internet certainly did. (As sex toy experts, we feel compelled to note that the references to anal beads in this controversy are misguided; technically, you’d need to use a vibrating prostate massager to cheat in a chess tournament, not anal beads.)

To cheat during a game of chess, a player would need to receive instructions via a third party. Because obvious tools like headphones would be easily detected, some people believe that Niemann uses some type of Bluetooth anal sex toy to receive coded messages from a trainer or conspirator. With an anal toy like a vibrating prostate massager inserted discreetly into your rectum, you could, in theory, receive simple coded communications about your or your opponent’s play. Using such a device, a cheater could communicate via morse code or a simple yes/no code.

Niemann denies any accusations of cheating. Either way, the teenager hasn’t been able to avoid controversy, and he’s even said he’s ready to play a naked game to prove he doesn’t play dirty.

While the world of chess has been thrown into chaos, we can’t deny that it’s also absolutely hilarious. And the mememakers of the world are certainly enjoying the outrage.

If the idea of ​​defeating the world’s greatest chess grandmaster with a vibrating anal toy sounds far-fetched, then read on. We’ve rounded up the best anal sex toys you could theoretically use to cheat at chess.

1. LELO Hugo

We’ve included the LELO Hugo in a number of top sex toy reviews here at SPY because it’s a prostate toy that’s well made and fun to use. This remote control toy comes with eight different settings and uses two powerful base and tip motors so you can get all the information you need in eight different secret codes from your spy in the stands. More and more sex toys for men are helping men stimulate their “p-spot”, and the Hugo is one of the best.

LELO Hugo, the best anal sex toys for cheating at chess

LELO Hugo, the best anal sex toys for cheating at chess

LELO Hugo

Price: $164.00 (original $219.00) 25% OFF
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2. We-Vibe Vector App and Remote Control Rechargeable Prostate Massager

Here is another extremely popular one. Check out the We-Vibe, the app-controlled prostate massager that comes with 10 different settings for 10 different ways to cheat at anal chess. We still can’t believe we’re saying this. Because you can use this one in an app, you can realistically be on the other side of the world and control this pup. For example, your third party doesn’t even have to be in the same room as the match. Talk about sneaky.

We-Vibe vector app and remote control rechargeable prostate massager, best anal sex toys for cheating cheats

We-Vibe vector app and remote control rechargeable prostate massager, best anal sex toys for cheating cheats

We-Vibe Vector app and remote-controlled rechargeable prostate massager

Price: $139.99
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3. Desire Deluxe Rechargeable Remote Control Prostate Massager

If your third does not go further than 25 feet, consider this option. This 8-mode, 12-speed remote-controlled prostate massager has tons of tricks up its sleeve (or, well, your butt) to win every game of chess you play. While this option is most suitable for players with anal experience, you may need to consider something else if this is your first rodeo.

Desire Luxury Rechargeable Remote Control Prostate Massager, Best Chess Chess Anal Sex Toys

Desire Luxury Rechargeable Remote Control Prostate Massager, Best Chess Chess Anal Sex Toys

Desire Deluxe Rechargeable Remote Control Prostate Massager

Price: $99.99
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4. Hueman Black Hole Galactic Silicone Remote Control Cock Ring Butt Plug

Looking for something with even After pleasure? Check out this remote controlled butt plug built with an attached cock ring. Because no everything is to win, isn’t it? Although this only has four speeds and six patterns in total, we’re sure you can get some neat moves with this one. You may not win the game.

Hueman Black Hole Galactic Silicone Remote Control Cock Ring Butt Plug, Best Anal Sex Toys for Chess Cheating

Hueman Black Hole Galactic Silicone Remote Control Cock Ring Butt Plug, Best Anal Sex Toys for Chess Cheating

Hueman Black Hole Galactic Silicone Remote Control Cockring Butt Plug

Price: $79.99
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5. Tryst V2 Silicone Bendable Massage Ring with Remote

It’s not just an anal sex toy, it’s more of a versatile sex toy. With ten different functions and three quiet vibration levels, this toy is designed for many ways to wear it from bending around the penis, pressing close to the slob or placing it in and around your rectal area. Have fun in many ways this time around!

Tryst V2 Silicone Bendable Massage Ring with Remote Control Best Anal Sex Toys for Chess Cheating

Tryst V2 Silicone Bendable Massage Ring with Remote Control Best Anal Sex Toys for Chess Cheating

Tryst V2 Silicone Bendable Massage Ring with Remote Control

Price: $149.85
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